Maintaining your messiness

I got my first phone at 12, possibly too young, probably too naïve. I was allowed to have
Instagram and other forms of social media by 14; I followed friends and family and
never posted. By 16 I had been exposed to body image expectations, makeup, plastic
surgery, people's expectations of women and toxic relationships romanticised. While
by 16, I was mature enough to understand that social medias expectations don't have
to be followed and that living within my own expectations and views was the healthy
option. However, for many that wasn’t and still isn't the reality.

Social media has many ups and downs; it changes its trends and often will criticise
those who aren’t up to date enough to follow. In the 1920’s and earlier, women were
expected to cook, clean and care for her family without and real opportunity to be
something more. After the suffragette movement, much of this began to change across
the world. Being independent and my own person was drilled into me at a young age
almost on accident. I grew up with a single mother who didn't ask for favours, and
everyone knew that. I often related us to the “Gilmore Girls” as we were that mother
and daughter in a small town and I adored it, however, when standards for women
began to pivot again, I questioned everything I grew up with. Suddenly I began to wonder
whether marriage was something I should be waiting for and wondered if my own life
would still be my own if I did get married. Would I be someone else's property? Would I
still have the career I longed for? All these questions formed around what social media
and society had presented as “normal.”

In around the mid 2010’s being skinny was a trend. If you didn't have a gap between
your thighs or perfectly sculptured arms, then you were deemed too unfit for society. I
was the first daughter, niece and granddaughter in my family and like many little girls in
the same placed I was always showered in affection, compliments and love and so it
took a long time for society's expectations to affect me in the same way it affected
others. Now this is not to say, “I was loved as a child and you weren’t, that's why you're
insecure.” because that is not the case, however, being fairly sheltered and adored as a
child can form a slight false sense of pride. Now, like I've already said, social media has
its ups and downs and can change its point of view at any time. So, when we reached
2020 and slightly earlier years, we began to admire those regardless of shape or size,
social media became fun again, I don’t know whether it was lockdown that brought us
together or if society just had one of it’s popular pivots, but things changed. Many were

finally comfortable in their own body and became confident, some judging stopped and
some love entered. Again, I'm not saying that lockdown stopped hate online and we all
loved each other because there are plenty of examples where hate was still portrayed
against teenage girls online. But things were lighter than in previous years. Currently, in
2026, we are in an almost middle ground regarding society's dictation on body image,
there’s hate if you're “too skinny” and there’s hate if you are “overweight” or simply
don't fit in the most recent pair of viral jeans. So basically, social media is a complete
whirlwind of expectations where no one really knows what we are expecting.

I am 2 months away from turning 18 and I still question whether I should be following
society or questioning it. Relatives in their 20’s and 30’s are still struggling to find their
feet and discover what society would want them to be doing at their age. Society and
the media platforms we have created with it will never find simple guides or blessings
on how to be admired by those on the judge panel and I think many have accepted that
now, but I know many young girls and women are still fighting the urge to give in to what
society wants. I recently saw a TikTok questioning the sizes in certain brands and the
comments where a combination of current views on women's bodies and the 2016
version of those views. I saw another post on Instagram of a couple's wedding photos
and again society couldn’t decide if the women were selling her soul to the man she
was marrying or if they were just happy and in love.

I am not placing all the blame on social media, politics and medicine are also to blame.
Recent policies being put into place, by certain parties, stating the stripping of women's
rights and how we should return to the lives we were forced to face in the 1900’s. in
other countries, women currently have no rights, nature and wild animals may roam the
streets of certain countries with more rights than human beings. now my view on
politics and how foreign countries are running may be different to yours, and that is fine,
but i feel the outrage women feel during protests and i feel the rage of the celebrities
speaking out on the actions of those above them and i know women and girls across the
globe do too. In the UK, we are blessed to have the NHS who we may rely on upon a
medical emergency and i am so grateful for that. In other country's i know that service
isn't an option. Those struggling with their weight for medical reasons or not may seek
help here, yet in other country’s these people must find their own source of help due to
the price or the simple unavailability. When “weight loss jabs” came into place across
the globe, they were used to assist those struggling to lose weight due to a medial
reason. However, these injections have become normalised, and their name has
creeped its way into many households. Celebrities and others in the eyes of the public
have began to use this, in my opinion, unethical forms of medicine in order to lose
weight, therefore presenting a body image to their audience which isn't completely authentic. I believe this medication could save lives to those who have been instructed
to use by medical professionals, i myself know a handful of people using it to help them
become healthy. However, i also believe that it could take lives on the grounds that
people who are already healthy and/or underweight are using this jab, therefore making
them an unhealthy weight and possibly ill.

I remember when i was discussing the writing of this article with our article manager,
we were on the same page about what this article should prepresent and knew that we
had to be careful with this topic as trigger topics may come up for some readers. I
remember her telling me that article was supposed to be a message on the effects of
social media, and other things which change our perspectives and that we wanted to
deep dive into the real reason we felt this article should be written, we didn’t want it to
be a big testimony about loving yourself and repeating that “everybody is beautiful”
script because there are thousands of articles, creators and artworks which display
this, we also didn’t want it to be a checklist of how to live, we don’t have any authority to
tell you what you should do to go against society’s standards. I knew I had a job of
creating a beautiful story demonstrating the deep effects of social standards against
women and how all ages are affected by them. If I’m being honest, this might be the
best piece I’ve ever written, but who am I to say, I know many will read this and possibly
think “she was just asked to write this, it’s not what she actually thinks” but that
couldn’t be further from the truth, as a journalism student myself, I constantly put
myself in situations which allow me to comment and educate people on social issues
which are usually overlooked or deemed as “too boring or political” for dinner talk
because I’m sick of those in higher power and those in a slightly better position than
those struggling, ignoring problems a minority face everyday.

At 17, I am writing this article, partly as a letter to myself, partly as a letter to you, mostly
as a letter to the women of the future and the past who have struggled before and will
struggle again. Don’t let social standards define you. Don’t allow those on possibly
dangerous medications influence you. Don’t let politics contain your power. Be your
own person. Fight against the power. Fight for others. Fight for your future.

Katie Dee